


Good Times For A Change

by allineedisaquill



Category: Peter Kay's Car Share (TV)
Genre: Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, F/M, S1E03, Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-11-14 20:21:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11215587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allineedisaquill/pseuds/allineedisaquill
Summary: “This is why you’re better off on your own, out of it - bollocks to love!”An extended ending for 1x03.





	Good Times For A Change

**Author's Note:**

> I watched Car Share with my best friend and she jumped on the chance for me to fic this after I mentioned it! (You can find her Car Share Tumblr here [@lyricaldanceflap](https://lyricaldanceflap.tumblr.com/).)

“This is why you’re better off on your own, out of it - bollocks to love!”

The outburst is the end to the argument, and in the passenger seat Kayleigh sits with her arms folded crossly, turned towards the window as they drive on in stony silence. She feels the pull of her tiredness and the weight of everything in her life dragging her eyes down. With the radio over the sound of tyres on tarmac and the safety of John’s presence beside her, she lets herself drift off.

John looks over at her body leaning to one side. “What’s up, you sulking? You not speaking to me?” He asks, eyes flicking between Kayleigh and the road. He gets no response and feels his heart sink momentarily, but after briefly looking around at her face properly he finds that she’s fast asleep.

He sits back but can’t resist another glance in the rear-view mirror at Kayleigh, lashes against her cheeks, curls spilling down, lips parted slightly, and her body shaking gently with the motion of the car as he drives. She looks peaceful. She looks _beautiful_. His heart leaps into his throat for a second and he instantly regrets his words, because he can’t say “bollocks to love” when he’s falling for the woman fast becoming his best friend. It’s a direct contradiction, Kayleigh making him question everything he thought he knew.

“Haven’t had a dream in a long time,” he sings along with _The Smiths_ , and he could almost roll his eyes at how that friggin’ radio station manages to sync up with their journeys to and from work. The song is perfect.

“See, the life I’ve had can make a good man bad.” His heart sinks again as he takes a second glance in the mirror. His fear controls his emotional decisions now, and until Kayleigh he thought it was for the best. No opportunity for more hurt if he never lets someone get close enough to do it, no chance for his love for someone to go stale over time if he never loves at all.

It seems obvious, and he’d reasoned that it was worth a few disagreements over the topic for the sake of saving both his own and someone else’s heart from inevitable pain. Yet now, seeing Kayleigh so soft and vulnerable, he can’t help but wonder if he’s been getting it wrong all this time, if maybe some things are worth the risk of heartbreak, worth going out of your way for.

In the next lane, John spots the small Volkswagen from that morning.

“So, for once in my life,” he sings absently as he tries to get alongside the car, “let me get what I want.” He smiles, preparing to cast that smile to the same woman he’d seen hours before, but he’s not surprised to see that it’s someone completely different - a man with more hair than Kayleigh.

It’s utterly ridiculous and John can’t help but laugh at himself and the absurdity of his situation, the mirth bubbling up and out of him freely. There’s a light back in his eyes and the happy, airy feeling Kayleigh provides settles in his chest once more. In this tiny pocket of time with his friend asleep as he drives her home, he can soak up the sunshine she emits without self-doubt clouding his judgement. He feels how he feels and it’s enough just for now.

* * *

When he pulls up to Kayleigh’s house, she’s still spark out with _Wet Wet Wet_ ’s cover of _Love Is All Around_ playing through the car speakers. Turned towards her in his seat, he thinks it’s almost a shame to wake her when she looks so content and calm.

Carefully, he moves back a few long locks of curls from her face that have shifted during their drive. Her eyelashes flutter at the touch. “Kayeigh?” He says gently, giving her arm a small shake. She slowly stirs and turns her head in his direction.

“Hmm?” She hums, opening her eyes and squinting at him. “Did I fall asleep?”

John smiles. “Yeah, we’re ‘ere,” he tells her, nodding at her house.

“Oh right,” she says, sitting up and smoothing her jacket down, fixing her hair, wiping the drool from her chin. “I’ll be off then,” she says tightly, their tiff clear again in her previously sleep-addled brain. Her hand goes to the passenger door to open it and leave as fast as she can to escape the awkwardness.

“Wait, wait,” John says suddenly, reaching out again and ending up catching her smaller hand in his. “There’s somethin’ I need ‘say first,” he explains, voice sincere and small. He squeezes her hand and watches her hopefully, and to his relief she settles back in her seat, takes her hand back, and fixes him with an expectant look as she folds her arms one more.

“Go on,” she prompts, only half-genuine with her clipped voice.

John looks away through her window before focusing back on her face, nervous. Her hand left a brief warmth and he misses it. “I shouldn’t have been as harsh as I was, y’know, about all the stuff with women and love and that. I’ve just had a bad time with it all in the past, that’s all. I’m sorry.”

He means it. He doesn’t want her to think he’s closed off to feeling things, he doesn’t want to ruin his chances of happiness completely because despite his fears, he still wants love. Deep down (or perhaps not as deeply lately) he still wants companionship and someone to laugh with, a warm hand in his, a friendly face in a crowd of people at the next small venue Compendium play. For all his talk about being better off alone, he certainly doesn’t believe it, especially now Kayleigh has stumbled piss-first into his life. He wants it all.

“I know,” Kayleigh says, and it’s not what he expects to hear.

“Come again?” He says, face scrunching up.

She laughs at him, all bright and doe-eyed. “I said I know, John. Crappy relationships and mistakes. I know all that,” she tells him, waving her hand. “But you can’t live your life based on your past or you’ll never have a future. You can’t just keep being bitter, is that how you want to be for the rest of your life? Shouting “bollocks to love” when you’re grey and old with nobody by your side?” She searches his eyes earnestly, wearing an expression he can’t quite place somewhere between hopeful and anxious.

John lets out a weary sigh. “I don’t know. I don’t suppose I do, no,” he admits. He backtracks naturally, immediately self-conscious and aware. “But it’s not as easy as that, is it? It’s a lot to think about. It’s complicated.”

Tilting her head to the side, Kayleigh says, “We only get one life, Johnathan,” in a sing-song voice, raising her eyebrows and smiling up through her lashes. It melts John’s heart right to the core. “Might as well be happy.” He can’t help but smile at how she turns all the negatives into positives. Then Kayleigh puts a warm hand on his arm and leans in to kiss his cheek, pulling back to wipe the lipstick with a few swipes of her thumb after.

No sooner has she pulled back is she opening the door and climbing out. “See you tomorrow,” she tells him, shutting the door behind her and standing on the curb outside her house. She can still hear _Love Is All Around_ inside the car.

All he can do is meet her eyes and match her small, soft smile before he begins to slowly drive away to the last few lines of the song. The clouds part, the grey evening giving way to a golden orange sunset, and John sings.

“So if you really love me, love me, love me, come on and let it show,” he belts out the words, his heart hopeful and his smile bigger than ever. For a brief moment with Kayleigh’s kiss still lingering on his cheek, the idea of letting himself love again doesn’t seem so terrifying anymore. It seems brand new.

Maybe, for once in his life, he can get what he wants.

Lord knows, it would be the first time.

**Author's Note:**

> For more Car Share content, follow my Tumblr [@kayleighkitson](https://kayleighkitson.tumblr.com/).


End file.
